Work sucking your creativity? Creativity bleeding your bank balance? It’s your life’s mission to find a balance that works for you.
I have three beloved writer friends who I met in my twenties. At the time we were all aspiring authors, working as journalists for a Manchester magazine. Over the years we’ve all gone on to write books, get agents and get published. We go away together every year for a writing week, a precious ritual we all value. A LOT has changed since we met (homes, jobs, partners, hairstyles, tolerance for white wine) but one thing that has never really changed is the conversation we always have – how to balance our writing with our work/family life.
It seemed that over the sixteen or so years we have known each other, within our group we’ve continually shifted points on the spectrum of work-writing balance. One year, one might be writing loads and loving it but verging on broke. Another might have lots of paid work, but be struggling to find time to write. And a couple would be flowing between the first and the second state. The next year, that will have swapped around entirely. Add kids, book deadlines and the collapse of print media into the mix for greater complexity, and the one thing that never happened was one of us pronouncing, ‘Hey, I’ve made it! I’ve got the perfect balance and it’s going to stay like this for the rest of my life!’
Even with book deals, this hasn’t really changed much. Not all (in truth, not many) book deals allow authors to write full time, and even those that do require work that isn’t writing – promo, events, networking, pitching the next thing. So I suppose what I am saying is, this struggling to nail the writing-life balance thing – it never really goes away.
But that’s not to say that you can’t find ways to approach it that can help you feel less frustrated.
One useful thing is to accept that a writing life goes in phases. If you’re working a lot right now, have a lot of demands on your time, and are not writing all that much, know that it won’t always be this way. Rather than beating yourself up (which just wastes your precious energy) just carve out the largest space you comfortably can for keeping that tiny flame of creativity alive until things shift and you’ve got more time to dedicate to writing.
If you’re giving your whole self to your writing, but are blasting through your savings, your personal hygiene has taken a hit and your friends have forgotten your name, know also that this isn’t a permanent state. Give yourself a certain amount of time to really immerse yourself, then know that you’ll get back in the working world to build your buffer back up, take a goddamn shower and reconnect with your social self.
It may be that working part time is your best writing-life balance. Or working full time, making a few life sacrifices (getting up earlier, watching less TV, being less sociable, doing less cleaning) and fitting in writing alongside a regular, reliable pay cheque.
There’s a lot to be said for having clear days, weeks and months to devote purely to a creative project. But that can have its downsides, too. When your writing becomes the day job, you might find it loses some of that magical energy, becomes something you have to do, rather than choose to. If you’re trying to write alongside working full or part time, know that this isn’t a bad thing at all. Not only does that give your creativity some stability, having this magical thing you love to do, that you vastly prefer to all the other shit you’ve got to do, is actually a gift.It helps you see how amazing writing is. It helps you value it.
And of course, even if you feel you’ve nailed it, it may be that what works one year, or decade, won’t work for the next. A writing life is a creative act in itself, one that will change and flow our entire lives. And that’s ok.
The problem comes, I think, when we get stuck in one unsatisfying state for too long. Working too hard for years and years, and never having the energy to write. Writing ferociously for years and years, but earning so little that you can’t afford the artistic inspirations, creative boosts and real life experiences that add in to a creative life. Even making a living from writing books can be problematic when your creativity is held hostage to you paying the bills.
There are so many ways to be a writer, as many ways as there are writers. It’s all just an experiment. There’s no way to get it wrong. And probably no-one ever really gets it ‘right’, at least not forever. The balance is different for everyone, at different times. My friendship with my fellow writers has taught me many things but one important lesson has been that THINGS CHANGE. They flow. You can’t always predict where you’re going to be.
But if you honour your creativity, even if you haven’t got a lot of time to devote to your writing, then when the moment is right, it’ll all align to get you back on track.
The writer friends I mention in this article are Maria Roberts, Sarah Tierney and Emma Jane Unsworth and they are honestly three of my favourite writers. Their books are incredible things, go and check them out!