“I had run out of things to say, and energy for the process. I decided I didn’t have the heart for it.”
Charlotte Duckworth, author of gripping thriller The Perfect Father, explains why taking a five-year break from writing was the best thing she ever did.
Back in the dark ages of the internet (2003), when online forums were quite a new, niche thing, I joined a writing group.
I was in my early 20s and had been working on a novel based on my experiences at university. I’d finished it and didn’t know what to do next. I didn’t know a single author or anyone who worked in book publishing.
The forum was a lifesaver. I was so grateful to ‘meet’ other people who were also trying to do what seemed quite impossible: write a novel and get it published.
It was through the forum I learnt that in order to get a book deal I couldn’t just send my manuscript off to Penguin (side note: I actually did this as an ten-year-old, and was incensed by their eventual rejection, complete with suggestion that I read my work out to my class at school!).
I learnt instead that I needed to get an agent.
A friend on the forum recommended me to their agent, who then recommended me to another agent, and that was how I signed with a literary agent, Caroline Hardman, at the somewhat precocious age of 23. She is still my agent today.
However, the book I’d written, even after we worked on it extensively, didn’t sell to publishers. So I wrote another. It was better, for sure, than my first book. And my agent was optimistic about it. It got further along the publishing process than the first book, but still, in the end, was ‘turned down’ by all the publishers we approached.
I wrote another book. But it was… let’s put this politely… pants. I had run out of things to say, and energy for the process. My agent was brutal but fair. She suggested major revisions; I decided I didn’t have the heart for it.
And this is where I deviate from the Unstoppable Author norm (but bear with me!).
I decided to give up writing for a while, and instead focus on my day job. I’d been working as a journalist but had recently set up my own content marketing business, which was doing well. I pushed writing to the back of my mind, and focused on making money.
In the end, I had five whole years off writing. Then, I got pregnant, and sold my business. I realised I had complete freedom for the first time in my adult life. I had money in the bank, and time (at least when my newborn daughter was sleeping!) to write.
I also, suddenly, had lots of ideas and things I wanted to say. I signed up to the Faber Academy Writing a Novel course, and wrote the first draft of my debut novel, The Rival, in ten weeks.
Within five months, I had a finished draft. I reconnected with my agent, who sent it out to publishers after some minimal changes. And I had two offers on the same day, one of which was a pre-empt.
I remember how devastated I was that those first two books didn’t sell, but now I look back and realise that things do happen for a reason. I needed to write those books to get better at writing.
I felt like a failure too when I decided to give up writing after my third book, but a small voice of comfort told me I could always come back to it one day. That it would always be there, waiting for me, when I was ready.
The wonderful thing about writing is that it doesn’t matter how old you are – and that very often, you get better at it with age and lived experience.
Since writing The Rival, I’ve completed two other novels, both of which are also being published by Quercus, and I’m currently writing the second draft of my fourth.
Writing is still hard, and frustrating, but with every book you learn something new, and with every book you get just that little bit better.
So keep going. But if you need a break – take one. Don’t force it. The writing will still be there, waiting for you to return when the time is right.
After all, it’s often the writing that’s unstoppable too.
Charlotte Duckworth is a graduate of the Faber Academy’s acclaimed six-month ‘Writing a Novel’ course. Charlotte started her career working as an interiors and lifestyle journalist, writing for a wide range of consumer magazines and websites. Alongside writing, she now runs her own website design studio. Her psychological suspense novels, The Rival, Unfollow Me and The Perfect Father are all out now, published by Quercus. She is currently working on her fourth book, provisionally entitled The Retreat.
You can find out more about Charlotte’s books on her website: www.charlotteduckworth.com, and she welcomes all distractions on Twitter
About The Perfect Father
THE PERFECT HUSBAND . . .
After a difficult pregnancy, Esther is grateful that her husband Robin offers to put his career on hold so that she can return to the job she loves. But Esther finds leaving her daughter Riley behind more challenging than she’d thought. And soon the new imbalance in her relationship with Robin brings old tensions to the surface.
OR A PERFECT LIE?
Then one day Esther arrives home from work to find Robin and Riley are missing. As the police investigate their disappearance, it becomes clear that nothing about this modern-day family is what it seems…
Is Robin the perfect father everyone thinks he is? Or was it all a perfect lie?
The Perfect Father is out in ebook now.
Is it time you took a break from writing?