What should your writing life be like? What should your process be? How should your career go? And how should you feel about it?
Tricky questions all, right? And there’s so much advice out there. SO. MUCH. ADVICE. And yet, when it comes to creativity, personally I struggle to find a source of wisdom that helps me feel grounded and makes sense to me.
(This observation may or may not be connected to the fact that I’ve hopped back on to Twitter after a long time of only visiting once a week.)
It has been an interesting week for traditionally published authors, as we read the bookseller report that 54% of debuts responding to a survey felt the process of being published negatively affected their mental health. This is the heartbreak at the core of getting what you’ve always wanted. It’s rarely exactly what you think.
I once half-jokingly compared getting published to the plot of The Island starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansen. You think you’re being chosen to live on an idyllic paradise but in fact they’re going to harvest your organs.
But the paradox is that as well as being nothing like you imagine, and being potentially traumatic for many writers depending on how it goes, getting a book deal and being a published author is also exactly what you imagine and more. I can only speak for myself, but in having two books trad published, and one indie-pubbed, I have achieved my childhood dream. I feel a sense of satisfaction and ‘rightness’ from this that has nothing to do with sales or clout or perceived success. I have always loved novels more than anything else. I have always, for as long as I remember, wanted to write them. And then I eventually wrote a novel. And that novel, and the next one, got published. They’re in bookshops and libraries and people have read them and enjoyed them! It really is the dream and, though the indifferent behemoth that is the publishing industry is guilty of a lot of the things cited in that Bookseller article, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m continually delighted by my achievement, which is mine to keep.
It’s important here, when it comes to maintaining robust mental health, to learn how separate out the creativity from the business side – writing and selling your writing are not the same thing and require two really quite different personas and mind sets. That, though, is an article for another time.
Back to my original point. I love a bit of self help and I’m always looking for people smarter than me as models for how my creative life could be lived. (Shout out to Elizabeth’s Gilbert’s Big Magic, my go to for creative soothing) But as I scroll through the countless articles online about how to write, how you should plot your first draft, why you shouldn’t plot your first draft, how to pitch, how to get published, how to write for the market, why you shouldn’t write for the market, how mentally harmful the publication process can be, why you should just suck it up and be grateful, and on and on and on….I realised (again!) that everyone is just saying what they believe at this point on time, from their very specific circumstances, background and experience. Which means – damn it – there is no answer out there. I can do the research, try out others’ approaches. But ultimately, there is only MY answer, a complex and constantly changing approach that is absolutely bespoke to me. Just as the way you approach writing and creativity will be absolutely and uniquely bespoke to you.
I feel like this is always the answer to almost every question but like all great and simple wisdom, it is very human to keep forgetting it. So if it feels like my blog posts are saying the same thing in different ways, that’s why.
It has been five years since my first novel came out, and over that time, (because I am a introspective person by nature, and because human behaviour fascinates me) I’ve spent a lot time processing and questioning what it means when the art bubble meets the business world.
I have been ‘lucky’ in some ways. I was nominated for an award for my debut, The Gods of Love. Both that and my follow up, The Love Delusion, got sold into Waterstones and, somehow, magically, both are still stocked in many stores across the country four and five years later. Both books sold to Germany which has helped me earn out my advance. And I knew quite a bit about publishing going in, because I had friends who’d got books deals, so I was somewhat forewarned about what to expect.
But even so, publishing threw some curveballs beyond even my expectations. And I’m not sure there is any way to entirely mitigate for that huge shift from beginners’ mind, innocent and in love with creativity and thrilled by achieving your childhood dream, to the realities of selling your work to a business – which is what, lest we forget, publishing is.
I have spent the last few years writing drafts of new things, playing with ideas, working out who I am now, and what I want. Asking myself questions I didn’t know the answer to yet. Question such as, what is it that I want from my creative life? What makes my heart sing? What makes me feel fulfilled? What does success mean to me? What do I expect my writing to do for me, and it is reasonable to expect those things and are any of them within my control? How do I build a sustainable writing life in a tough economic climate, in a competitive publishing market? What is the path that makes the most logical, emotional and creatively fulfilling sense for me?
After a lot of time processing, writing and just living, I think I’ve found my answer. But there’s no point me telling you what it is because it’s unique to me and it might change again tomorrow.
Just as your answer to how you plan to spend this creative life of yours is absolutely bespoke to you.
Because creativity is idiosyncratic and personal, it’s my belief that you are the source of your own best advice. Asking yourself the questions you want to ask everyone else, sitting quietly with your journal, paying compassionate attention to the answers, if any come, and writing them down, will help you live YOUR creative life. You won’t get answers immediately. But just giving your questions this attention will help you send the message to yourself and your creativity that you are listening to it, that you care what your true creative path is. That you’re going to do your very best to find it and follow it.
I think that being true to ourselves as creative beings, whatever that means, is actually the source of the peace, excitement and belonging that we all hope/d publishing would give us. (Though obviously getting on the New York Times list wouldn’t hurt!)
It’s also worth saying that, during the last few years of my publishing journey, I’ve also been processing what I want to offer via The Unstoppable Author. I’m passionate about stories and how and why they work, and I use what I know about the skill and craft of storytelling to do my work writing Manuscript Reports on behalf of several Literary Agencies, offering advice on the nuts and bolts of writing such as how to hone characterisation, dialogue, plotting and worldbuilding to help you make your novel the best version of itself that it can possibly be.
But I’m not sure that is what Unstoppable is for. There are plenty of websites and social media accounts and newsletters out there that can tell you about craft. What I don’t see as much of is the sort of wisdom I mentioned above, the kind I am always in search of myself – calm reflections on creativity that focus not on skill or success (though these are worthy things to seek in themselves) but something altogether less quantifiable but, I’d argue, just as important to a writer’s progress. I don’t even have a name for what it is I want to help us re-connect with. Happiness? Flow? Congruence? A stronger link to the creative divine? Destiny?
Is this the point of The Unstoppable Author? I’m still waiting for the answer to that question. But, if you’ll bear with me, I’ll keep asking the questions and eventually, I know the answers will come.
Happy writing,
Nicola x
The secret to a happy writing life