“My wife would introduce me to new people as “my husband the writer”, but I felt an imposter the whole time.”
The truth about imposter syndrome, says
M A Hunter, is it doesn’t go away even after twenty novels.
I first started thinking seriously about writing in 2010. I’d always had this idea in the back of my mind that I wanted to try and write a novel one day (after all Kathryn Joyce said, ‘We all have a book in us,’) but of course, back then I never really believed I’d achieve this dream. I had a plan for the opening of a thriller, and started writing it not really knowing where it would go in terms of plot and character development, nor understanding how to get it published should I ever manage to finish it.
Inevitably, the process of ‘learning the trade’ was slow and painful, but I managed to complete a draft that I was very proud of. I consulted the Writers and Artists Year Book (as all creatives do) and set about identifying which lucky literary agents would have the pleasure of reading my inaugural work. Suffice to say I wasn’t inundated with offers of representation and promises of publication success, despite my ridiculously high expectations. My dream of writing came tumbling down and I didn’t know where to go.
There are tomes of rejection stories from hugely successful writers and I clung to each one, telling myself that everything I’d achieved with the first novel had been a learning curve, and how I’d be better prepared when I tried again. And, in fairness, I was surprised at how much I’d learned through the experience of trying to write, but alas, agent rejection only followed high hopes once again.
I landed my first publishing deal at the seventh attempt, signing with an independent publisher of thrillers, and could finally declare myself a “professional writer” even though I didn’t feel like one. Two more books followed with the same publisher but where were all the agents rushing to sign me up? The publisher’s focus was digital sales only so I couldn’t even look forward to the prospect of seeing my book on a shelf in a shop. My wife would introduce me to new people as “my husband the writer”, but I felt an imposter the whole time.
Fast-forward to today and I’ve now had publishing deals with imprints of Hachette and HarperCollins, I’ve seen my books in shops, and my 21st novel (Ransomed is written under the pseudonym M.A. Hunter) has just been published. I still don’t have an agent, and dreams of mortgage-settling royalties and film options have never felt further from my grasp. I’ve achieved so much in the ten years since I started, but when I meet other writers (either virtually or in person) I still shy away from telling them I’m a writer as my career thus far hasn’t followed a traditional course.
I’m not sure I’ll ever not feel like an imposter, so if you’re just starting out and struggling to accept yourself as a writer, it’s okay. You’re not alone. Celebrate the successes that come your way, because although there are thousands of writers out there, there are even more who aren’t who simply marvel at the skill and dedication it takes to write. Don’t give up.
M.A. Hunter has been a huge fan of crime fiction since a young age, and always fancied the idea of trying to write in the genre. That dream became a reality when One More Chapter signed The “Missing Children Case Files” series.
Born in Darlington in the north-east of England, M.A. Hunter grew up in West London, and moved to Southampton to study law at university. It’s here love blossomed and M.A. has been married for fifteen years, raising two children on the border of The New Forest where they enjoy going for walks amongst the wildlife.
When not writing, M.A. regularly binge-watches the latest shows from streaming services, as well as reading the latest stories from Angela Marsons, Simon Kernick, and Ann Cleeves. His latest novel is
About RANSOMED:
Some secrets are too big to bury…
Investigative journalist Emma Hunter never thought she’d be a bestselling author. Especially not for a blistering exposé of the brutal horrors committed at an orphanage.
Some secrets breed in the dark…
All she wants is to return home to the anchoring salt air and solitude of Weymouth where questions still fester unanswered and a twenty-year-old secret binds her to the beach.
And some of them always escape…
But then she finds herself sucked into the chaos of another cold case and soon realises the search for the missing girl will not only unearth the rot ravaging the safety of children across the south of England, but could even solve the mystery that has tortured her since she was seven years old…
Ransomed marks the beginning of a nerve-shredding new crime series of feral reckonings and found family in the face of harrowing inhumanity, perfect for fans of Angela Marsons, Ann Cleeves, and J M Dalgliesh.
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What new writers don’t understand about Imposter Syndrome