“The nearer I edged towards my goal, the more the rejection stung.”
When JA Corrigan faced near misses and rejection, it equipped her with the tools she needed for when she finally reached her end game of publication.
In common with other writers, I am constantly riddled with self-doubt and there have been many times when I’ve wanted to give up writing. Many. What brings a writer to this point, the desolate desire to give it all up?
For me, it was fuelled by the unremitting rejection, closely followed by the insidious sense of self-loathing, as I admitted to ignoring family and friends, and worse, ignoring myself. I forgot to get dressed, forgot to brush my teeth, forgot to eat. Quite simply, I forgot to live – and therein lies the sadness, and the problem – because how can a writer write if the writer is not truly living?
The ultimate first goal of most writers is the snaring of a literary agent – the gatekeepers of the literary world. This is round one of the rejection process, which can go on for years, and often does for a great percentage of writers. Add to this the way in which literary rejection is delivered, or more often than not, not delivered, and there we have it – the perfect storm in the creation of self-doubt and loathing.
But then it happens. You become a signed writer. All good, right? In many ways, yes, but once safely signed with a literary agent, round two of rejection begins, although the newly signed writer is often naively oblivious to this part! The stark reality of publisher rejection can, and I suspect does for many, hit harder than agent rejection. Why? Because the dangling carrot of publication is by now so tantalisingly close.
Writing and submitting your work isn’t for the faint-hearted, which in itself is a problem, because is not the ‘artist’, the writer, the most delicate of creatures?! In many ways, yes, but as I’ve learned through observing both others, and myself, the writer is the most resilient of animals.
For me, the nearer I edged towards my goal, the more the rejection stung. My journey has been rammed with huge disappointment, glaring false positives, but also subtle true negatives. Once, I did turn down a publishing deal that was so draconian in its terms, there was no way I could sign – this is my example of a false positive. I really did dodge a bullet.
Retrospectively, and from where I stand currently, the phrase you get what you need rather than what you want, comes to mind. It’s a cliché, but a cliché because it is so true. The crushing rejections, the false starts, the utter despondency made it so that when finally I was offered representation, I understood completely the path I wished my career to take – something I could not know without those past experiences. Without that journey, I wouldn’t be equipped with the tools I needed to navigate the next stage. Publication. The End Game. Although this is only the next leg of the expedition because there are many more stages to go through… writing the next book for one! But that, as they say, is another story.
Winding the clock back a year.
Early in 2020, and just before the pandemic hit, I met up in a London wine bar with my best friend, where I spent most of the evening crying as I regaled my perennial writing woes; the near misses, the form rejections, the plethora of agents who didn’t respond. Calmly, she urged me to carry on, one last push, she said, promise? I nodded, and I did promise to give my dream one final shove. In the following days I submitted my manuscript again, and finally, an offer of representation.
In a matter of days, I did forget about the rejections, although only for a moment because this is an on-going journey; just as you think you’ve reached the top of one mountain, another looms. But I’m equipped to deal with those mountains now, and only because of all that came before.
Get dressed in the mornings, live in the moment with your family, meet friends regularly, eat well. Embrace rejection, use it to make your work better (it can always be better), plough on.
It is the only way.
JA Corrigan was born in Nottinghamshire. She studied in London, completing a BA (Hons) Humanities degree, majoring in Modern History and English Literature. Travelling in Europe for several years, she taught in both Greece and Spain – countries and cultures she found fascinating. On return to the UK she gained a BSc (Physiotherapy), becoming a Chartered Physiotherapist. She lives in Berkshire with her family.
About The Nurse
When you hear her story, will you believe her?
Rose Marlowe is a hard-working nurse, a loving wife, and a merciless killer. Or so she says. Despite her confession, it is hard to believe that this beautiful, kind woman could have killed her vulnerable patient in cold blood.
Down-on-his luck author and ex-journalist, Theo Hazel, is convinced that there’s more to what happened than Rose is telling, and so decides to visit her behind bars to write her story. His first surprise comes when Rose reveals that the victim was not a stranger to her.
As time goes on, it seems that Rose is letting Theo see behind her perfect mask. With each new visit, he learns terrible new things about her heart-breaking past. With each new visit, he becomes more and more convinced that she can’t be a killer. But is he trying to free an innocent victim, or falling prey to a calculating murderer?.
Rejection, self doubt and one last push – one author’s book deal story